


Sorry I'm Late

by laughing_unintentionally



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Human, Bottom Derek, Bottom Derek Hale, Cheating, Cheating Derek, Cheating Stiles, F/M, Future Fic, Heartbreak, M/M, Top Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-04 21:16:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1793455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laughing_unintentionally/pseuds/laughing_unintentionally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where does Derek get off after ten years? He waited ten fucking years to reach out to him.</p>
<p>or the one where Derek finally tried to win Stiles back after he's happily married</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sorry I'm Late

**Author's Note:**

> I may or may not have been listening to buckets of Adele, Taylor Swift, and Cher Lloyd when I wrote this. I hope you guys enjoy it! It was pretty fun to write.

**To: Stiles Stilinski**

**From: Derek Hale**

**Subject: Sorry I’m Late**

_Hi,_

_I’m not really sure what this is supposed to be. I just know that it feels right. I hate the way we left things. Maybe hate is too strong of a word, I just feel lost. I don’t know what else to call it, Stiles. When it was ‘us’ it was good. When it was anyone else it’s always been work, it’s been worth it sometimes but it’s never been as easy or as right as when it was you. I’ve been thinking a lot about who we are as people, the fact that we are basically the same person, just different ways of showing it._

_I know that we’ve been apart for so many years, but I’ve never known why we ended. I was too hurt back then to try and analyze the whole situation, but you just left one day. You probably won’t even see this, or care to respond, but I just needed to know. I wanted to know why? I guess that even after all of these years I still need closure. You’re like this wound on my person that won’t close because I don’t even know how to try and close it. I hope you do read this though. I would like some answers, maybe._

__

 

__

 

_\- Derek_

Stiles looked at the screen of his laptop. He had received the email a few days ago and refused to open it. When he told Scott, he had flipped out and became very angry. (“Who does he think he is?! After all this time! No, Stiles. No. You do not open that email. You do not let him back into your life.”) And anytime someone told him he couldn’t do something, it was only more reason for him to do it. When he told Lydia, she had just gave him this calculating look, like she was trying to figure out what was behind the email. (“Open it. Read it. And decide from there. You don’t have to respond, but you should open it, or we both know it will only make you that much more obsessed with it.”) She had a good point there, so he opened it and now he feels like Scott felt. He feels angry. Where does Derek get off after _ten years_? He waited ten fucking years to reach out to him.

He took a breath. He needed a calmer head when he replied. If he even did reply. Why should he reply? He was happy now. He didn’t need Derek, or his stupid leather jacket, back in his life. He was happy. He was married. _He was married._ He definitely didn’t need Derek back in his life because he was married, with a daughter that he loved. He didn’t need this right now.

Malia walked into the dining room where he was seated and gave him a worrying look, “Everything ok?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Sorry sweetie. It’s just, some stuff that happened at work.”

She looked at him one more time, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” he looked back down at the email. “It’s really nothing, just a rushed deadline.”

She smiled at him, still a little worried and walked towards the staircase they had on this side of the house. He kept staring at the screen. How was he going to handle this? He needed advice, and not Scott’s angry advice to just stop worrying about it and move the fuck on. He called Lydia, relieved when she picked up on the second ring.

“You opened it,” she said stoically and in place of a greeting.

“Yeah,” he let out a shaky voice. “What do I do Lyds?”

“I will let that one slide because you’re obviously so emotionally destroyed right now that you forgot how much I hate that stupid nickname.” Stiles smiled, at least she wasn’t going to coddle him. “What did he want?”

“I’m going to forward it to you right now,” he waited a few minutes, allowing her to read the email.

He heard her let out a frustrated sigh, “Well, do you want to see him?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. Do you think it’s a good idea?”

“No. But I think that if you don’t, you’re always going to wonder what would have happened. Have you told Malia yet?”

“What am I supposed to say? Hey Malia, the guy I was madly in love in high school, and was probably going to marry someday but then met you emailed me?”

“Good point.”

“I have to meet up with him in person, you are coming with me.”

“No I’m not. We both know that is not a good idea. Stiles, you can do this. Just let him know that you’re happy now and that you don’t want to have contact with him. Why did you guys break up anyway? I thought he broke up with you by the way you were so destroyed, but his email makes me think otherwise.”  
“I – It was complicated.”

“Well uncomplicated it and reply. I have to go, Aiden just got home and its date night. I love you. You can do this.” She hung up without letting him make a reply. How could she be so sure? She didn’t know why Stiles broke it off. Stiles didn’t even really understand it, even after all this time.  
He looked back down at the laptop and hit the reply button.

**To: Derek Hale**

**From: Stiles Stilinski**

**Subject: Re: Sorry I’m Late**

_Um, wow. Hi. It’s been awhile huh? I don’t think I can give you your answers over email. I don’t know if you’re still even in the area, but if you are then meet me next Friday at the café just outside of town around noon. Where we had our first date, according to you. Sorry if this isn’t what you were looking for, but it’s the way I need it to happen._

_\- Stiles_

He hit send and let out a shaky breath. He closed the laptop and went upstairs to Malia and their daughter.

*

Derek sat down at the table just inside the door, clutching his coffee mug for dear life. He had no idea what was about to happen. He didn’t even know why he sent that email. Yes he does. He had just broken up with Jennifer and he started to think about Stiles again. That was why she left (“I’m not him Derek! I can’t live in his shadow anymore. We’re done.”), and it had thrown Derek off. He didn’t even realize he had kept comparing her to him. God, why was he so obsessed with Stiles still? Maybe it was because he had just left. Derek thought back to that day

Derek had just finished lacrosse practice, only a few more weeks left in his senior year. He was excited about the coming summer, going to college just one town over and being able to see Stiles whenever he wanted. Stiles was 16 at the time, Derek had just turned 18. After he showered, he drove to Stiles’ to pick him up for a surprise date. Derek pulled into his driveway and Stiles’ Jeep wasn’t there. Derek tried to call him but there was no answer. He knocked on the door anyway and the Sherriff opened up. He let out a small sigh, which was weird.

“Derek,” he sounded almost upset.

“Is Stiles here?”

“No. He, um, he didn’t tell you?”

Derek stared at him for a second, “Didn’t tell me what?”

“He got an internship this summer in Alaska, he took all of his finals early and left right after school. He said he told you – Derek?”

Derek had started breathing heavily, Stiles was gone. He had basically just runaway and left him. He hadn’t said anything. He heard the Sherriff say, “I’m sorry. I thought you knew,” as he started to walk away from the doorstep. He called Stiles five more times before he gave up. He woke to a text the next morning from him **Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t do it face to face. Please forgive me.** And that was the last he heard from Stiles. Until the email.

Derek was jostled out of his memories when the bell above the door jingled and in walked a man who looked so much like the sixteen year old he had loved so long ago. He was more muscular, more grown than Derek remembered and it hurt Derek that he had not been there to watch him grow up and mature into who he was now. His hair was longer, he had grown out of his ridiculous buzz cut phase it would seem. Derek tried so hard not to stare at him, to not memorize what was different and what was the same.

Stiles ordered a coffee and walked up to his table. “Hi,” he whispered softly.

Derek cleared his throat, a little dry suddenly, “Hi.”

“So,” Stiles looked at him awkwardly.

“So,” Derek parroted.

Stiles let out a small laugh, “You know, conversation usually works easiest when the other person doesn’t parrot the entire time.”

Derek blushed slightly, “I’m sorry. I just, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t think you would ever actually respond let alone meet me. Here of all places.”

It was Stiles’ turn to blush as he looked down at his mug. “Yeah, I figured it was appropriate.”

“Stiles,” he met his eyes and oh god Derek couldn’t do this. He wanted nothing more than to kiss Stiles again, feel the press of those lips, the way Stiles’ breath becomes shaky after just one long slow kiss. He stared into his amber eyes and had to will himself to not leap over the table. “I honestly just want to know why?”

“Wow, way to start out easy on me buddy,” he let out a long breath. “Honestly? I was scared. Derek, you were going to throw away your full ride to NYU and go to a state school for me. I couldn’t do that to you. You have always loved New York, it’s where Laura wanted to be. You had our whole lives planned out, our wedding, our children, everything and I couldn’t do that to you. So, when I got a call about the internship I jumped at it. I figured that if I wasn’t around then you would have no other choice then to go to New York and live your dreams.”

Derek winced internally, thinking about Laura and how Stiles had been the one to hold him at the funeral, get him to finally come out of his room weeks later. “Stiles, my dream was you. With or without New York.”

“That’s the thing Derek! That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone who was only sixteen!”

“I was only eighteen!”

“Exactly! We were so young. Who were we to judge what was best for the rest of our lives. I mean, I thought that I loved you Derek. Hell, I still do. As much as I love my wife and my daughter, there are days when I wish it was you instead of Malia lying next to me. I thought I was doing what was best for us.”

“For _us_? Or for yourself?”

“For us Derek!” Stiles’ voice went a few volumes higher and he looked around sheepishly. He cleared his throat before continuing, “Look, I don’t have anything else to say. I’m married now, and I have a wonderful family. I’m sorry that it wasn’t you, but I can’t Derek. I can’t keep this up. It’s not fair to Malia.”

“Do you love her?” Derek didn’t know why he was feeling so jealous, so threatened. Of course Stiles married, he was a catch. He was perfect.

“Yes,” Stiles said, not making eye contact with him.

Derek let out a breath, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make this so intense. I just, I don’t know. I just miss having you in my life.”

“If you say we can be friends I will punch you in your throat.”

Derek looked up at him and he was smiling. Maybe this would be easier than he thought. They sat there until it was closing time. The entire day had gone by and they were just talking. Derek had learned so much about Stiles and their friends that he had abandoned when he left for New York that summer. He missed them all, and just talking to Stiles about it made it seem like he hadn’t missed too much at all. Stiles even showed him the plethora of pictures he had of his now four year old daughter, Claudia. Derek startled at her name and Stiles smiled into his lap, “Yeah. I wanted to name her after my mom, because I want to love her just as much, if not more.” Derek tried very hard not to tear up at that. He had met Malia during his senior year at high school and they started dating their sophomore year at Berkeley. It pained Derek to see pictures of her, hear about how happy they were, but he smiled and nodded, knowing this was his only chance to get Stiles back in his life in any shape possible.

“Wow, where did the day go?” Stiles stretched, his shirt rising a bit and Derek forcibly looked away from the line of hair that went into his waistband. “I guess we just got caught up.”

“Well, I told Malia that I was going to be out with Scott all day and night. I wasn’t entirely sure how this whole thing was going to play out. So, you up for getting a drink at the bar down the road?”

Derek knew he shouldn’t be as happy to hear that Stiles didn’t want this to end. “Sure,” he smiled as he stood up. “I’ll drive.”

“You still have the Camaro?!” Stiles exclaimed as they walked up to the car.

“Of course.”

“I loved this car. Really, it was the selling point of our relationship. I loved your car more than you dude.”

“Ouch,” Derek looked at him and smiled. “Good to know where your priorities were.”

“I remember when you came to pick me up for our first date, no, the actual first date, and my dad nearly didn’t let me go because of this thing.”

“Stiles, our actual first date was here at the café,” he said as they both stepped inside the black Camaro.

“No, it wasn’t. That was a preliminary match, besides you needing tutoring for Calculus was not a date.”

“You do know that I got a better grade than you, right? I didn’t actually need the tutoring.”

“You _lied_ to me? Mr. Hale I am disgusted,” they were driving now and Stiles was turning in his seat.

“I didn’t lie to you, differential equations were pretty tough, but you tutored me wrong so I counted it as our first date since no learning actually commenced.”

“What do you mean I tutored you wrong? And another thing, why did you bring me all the way out here? That was always a weird thing for me.”

“You totally gave me the wrong answers! That was the only math test I didn’t get a 100 on and Mr. Becker only let me retake it because I had practically cried about how I had to hire a tutor and they taught me wrong and conflicting ideas in my head.”

“And because you totally kissed his ass all the time. He was not funny, Derek.”

“Yes he was!”

“No, he wasn’t!”

They both laughed a little. When he caught his breath they were finally at the bar and he looked over at Stiles. “I brought you out here because you were fifteen and your dad was the Sherriff. I did not feel like getting arrested on our first date, and I didn’t want to run into any of your friends.”

“They were your friends too,” Stiles smiled.

“Only after we started dating and because I only had Erica and Laura before that.”

They got inside the bar and grabbed a few beers before starting to play billiards. Derek loved the game, and Stiles was actually pretty good at it. Three games and twice as many beers later Derek needed to go to the bathroom. He was just about to zip up his pants when he felt a hand on his hip. He turned around and there was Stiles, his eyes half lidded. Before Derek could react, their lips were pressed together. The kiss went from hesitant to needy. He had wanted this kiss for ten years. He knew he shouldn’t, but the alcohol and the lust of it all was blocking out the rational part of his brain.

Stiles leaned in impossibly closer. Soon they were walking away and towards a stall. Derek wasn’t sure what was happening. He knew he shouldn’t be letting it get this far. His pants were around his ankles and suddenly his lips were bare, and “Holy _fuck_ ,” Stiles’ mouth was around his already hard cock. He looked down and Stiles was looking back up at him. It was so hot and Derek had forgotten how he fit perfectly inside of Stiles, like his body was made for his. Stiles let out a hum and that was not helping his situation.

Derek let out a moan into his forearm as Stiles sucked harder, his hand rubbing along his balls, squeezing them in intervals. Derek put his hands through Stiles’ hair, messing it up a bit. Stiles licked up his length, his free hand holding Derek’s hip. He flicked at the tip of Derek’s cock before swiveling back down and sucking hard, his cheeks hollowing a bit. Derek tugged at Stiles’ a bit as a warning, but Stiles just sucked harder and Derek crumpled. His knees went a little weak as he came into Stiles’ mouth. Stiles slowed down his rhythm before coming off of him with a naughty pop. He grabbed Derek’s face, thumb caressing his jawline, and suddenly they were kissing again. Stiles’ mouth tasted faintly like Derek and he craved it. He wanted more. Stiles pulled back, his eyes still blown with lust.

“I’ve missed you so much,” the words were more broken then Derek cared to hear. He blinked, coming down from his high.

“I – We shouldn’t have.”

Stiles stared at him, resembling a deer in headlights. “I—I’m sorry. I thought,”

“No, Stiles. I do. I want this, so much. But, you’re married.”

“I haven’t been happy in my marriage for a while. I pretend like I am because of Claudia, but I always think about you Derek. Always.”

“You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“No I’m not. Yes I do. I love you Derek. I have always loved you. I know I messed up when I left, but you didn’t come for me. You didn’t go out to Alaska and whisk me away. You went and you followed your dreams,” Stiles’ voice was becoming shaky. Derek didn’t want to hear this. He did, but he couldn’t. “And I thought because of that, your dreams didn’t include me.” He had wanted Stiles for so long and he was not going to be a home wrecker. He refused to be someone’s mistress or secret.

“I didn’t know you wanted me to,” he said in place of what he had wanted to say. _I love you too. Let’s leave, right now. Forever._

“Of course I wanted you to!”

“Stiles, I’m sorry. But we need to get you home. I’m sorry.”

Stiles just nodded as he hugged Derek close to him, he sniffled a little like he was holding back tears. Derek’s heart broke as he walked him back out to his car. He drove them to the café and didn’t really know where to go from there. He couldn’t just leave Stiles’ Jeep here and he was way too drunk to drive home. He looked over at Stiles, his face pushed against the window. He reached his hand out and touched his shoulder, “Who should I call to come and get you?”  
Stiles let out an audible sigh, “I can drive.”

“Stiles.”

“I’m fine Derek. I didn’t even drink that much. I can drive.”

“Stiles you had six beers with me, you shouldn’t drive.”

“No. You had six beers, I had two. The other four you handed me are still sitting on the bar. I never drank them. I didn’t want to forget this. Forget us, again.”

Derek looked at him. If Stiles was sober, “You’re not drunk?”

“No. God, I already told you that. I’m not drunk.”

Stiles turned to face him and Derek grabbed his face. The kiss lasted for a few minutes before he finally let him go. “I thought you didn’t,”  
“I do,” Derek said.

“I never thought I would get to hear you say that,” Stiles blushed. Derek pressed their foreheads together. God, what was he going to do? He wanted Stiles so much and yet, he knew he couldn’t. Stiles began to get out of the car. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Derek stared out his window for a few more minutes, letting Stiles leave first before pulling out onto the road and driving back to his loft just on the edge of Beacon Hills.

*

Stiles woke up the next day, his arm wrapped around a warm body. He squeezed it closer and breathed in, his eyes flew open when he realized it smelled like lilac and nothing like the spice he thought it was going to be. He somehow thought that he was going to wake next to Derek, not Malia. As if to prove him even more wrong, Malia rolled over and cupped his face. She placed a single kiss against his lips and it was nothing like the ones he had with Derek last night. “Good morning,” she whispered against his lips. Malia got up and stretched, her lean body a direct contrast to Derek’s broad shoulders and bulging muscles, before heading to Claudia’s room to wake her up for the day. Stiles had never been this upset about waking up next to her, unless you count the first time it happened and he had called Lydia freaking out.

He rolled over and there were two unread text messages. One of them was from Lydia **I’m going to assume that everything went pretty well since I didn’t have to get Scott and go hold you sobbing all night.** Why was he even friends with her? The other was from an unknown number **Hope you made it home safe, and that you still have the same number, because otherwise this will be really awkward – D**. Stiles looked at the message for a few more minutes, smiling,

“Well, you look happy today,” Malia said as she re-entered the room.

“Just Lydia being Lydia,” he said as he tried his best to hide his grin from Derek’s concern. That was why he loved him, because no matter what happened he would always be there for Stiles. He would always care.

Stiles got up and kissed her on the cheek. He headed downstairs to get some coffee before he had to get ready for work. **I made it home safe. Still have the same number. This is still fairly awkward.**

He tried to hold back the way his stomach fluttered at the almost immediate response. **We were always awkward though. Any chance I can see you today?**

Stiles thought about his day. He had to go into the office and make sure everything was running ok, but Erica could handle all the interns for a few hours. **Have some morning meetings, lunch maybe?**

His phone buzzed right as he was finishing his shower, **Sounds good. Meet you at the Italian place right off Main Street.** Stiles blushed before sending a quick **Can’t wait.** He got dressed and headed into work.

Erica was waiting for him in his office when he got there. “Morning,” he smiled at her.

“Well you’re chipper today. Malia get extra frisky last night?”

“Not exactly. I’m in a good mood. Why are you sitting in my chair?” He lifted his eyebrow as he shut the door behind him.

“You look way too much like Derek when you do that. Which, brings me to this morning. I was waiting to talk to you about Derek.” Stiles stopped mid stride, his face fell, mouth hanging open unattractively. “I know he’s back in town. I told him not to send that email. Stiles, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to see him again.”

“Erica, I’m married. I’m not going to be _seeing_ anyone.”

“Whatever you say Stiles. I know you, and I know him. You guys might have been star crossed lovers once upon a time, but remember what you just told me, you’re married,” She got up and started to walk out of his office.

“Erica, did he ever ask about me? Back then?” He wanted to yell at her, tell her she had no right to tell him how to live his life. But she did. Erica was Derek’s best friend, she was everything he had after Laura died and Cora went to South America to join the Peace Corps. He needed to know if Derek ever tried.  
“I don’t know why you left. I don’t want to know why you left. All I know is that he was fucked up for a long time, I don’t think he ever stopped thinking about you. He came back about a year ago, and he’s been trying his best not to contact you. After Laura, it was hard for him to open up to people. And then you just left. Stiles, promise me you aren’t going to do anything stupid.”

“I promise,” he crossed his fingers behind his back. He knew he was going to do plenty of stupid things, because it was Derek and Stiles was anything but smart when it came to Derek.

___________

Stiles walked into the restaurant and looked around for Derek. He spotted him at a table across the floor and he looked just as nervous as Stiles felt. God, why was he even nervous? This was Derek, sure it had been 10 years, but he and Derek just never got nervous around each other, even when they were just beginning to date. Stiles pushed away the thoughts of how he was nervous because he was doing something wrong. This was just lunch.  
“Hey,” Stiles said as he walked over to the table.

Derek looked up and smiled at him, God he loved Derek’s smile. “How’s work?”

“Scary. I think Erica knows that I came to meet you. She gave me these eyes.”

Derek blushed a little, “I kind of told her that I was going to see you today.” Stiles gaped at him. “She’s the only person I talk to. And it’s not like I told her about last night, well I did but just that the talk went pretty well.”

“She threatened me today.”

“What?” Derek’s look grew kind of dark and Stiles felt his heart flutter at it. God, he was such a teenager. “She shouldn’t have—“

“It’s fine. She just told me to be careful around you, which I already know judging by how last night ended.”

Derek blushed and Stiles loved that he made him turn that wonderful shade of pink. Their waiter came at that moment and they ordered.  
“So, what brought you back to California?”

“I missed it. It’s where I grew up. Don’t get me wrong, I love New York, but it’s not the same. And I missed Erica. Skype is just not the same as being able to hug her and see her in person.”

Stiles smiled at him, “Have you gone to see Laura yet?”

Derek’s face didn’t fall like Stiles thought it might have. Instead, it became a little brighter. “Yeah. I go every week. She’s another reason I came back.”

Stiles watched him for a second, deciding if he should ask what he wanted to. “Was I a reason?”

Derek looked at him, not breaking eye contact. “Yes. If anything, you were the biggest reason I had.”

Stiles blushed at him, “Your job just let you pack up and leave? We didn’t really get to talk too much about you the last time.”

“I work for my uncle. I can do it from pretty much anywhere and I have enough money from the fire that I don’t have to work if I don’t want to.”

They stayed at the restaurant for about an hour before Stiles decided he needed to get back to the office. He walked in and Erica watched him, silently judging.

He called Lydia.

“You what?! Stiles.”

Stiles rolled his eyes only because Lydia couldn’t see him do it and give him a death glare, “Calm down. I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you? Stiles, this isn’t some ex we’re talking about. This is _Derek_. As in he who hung the moon and scattered the stars and makes the sun rise every morning Derek.”

“I’m not a teenager anymore Lydia.”

“Then stop acting like one and realize that this is a bad idea. This is practically an affair.”

“Lydia, we’re not sleeping together. We’re just friends.”

“You and Derek don’t know how to be friends.”

“We’ll we’re learning together.”

“Fine, do what you want. But don’t expect me to pick up the pieces again. The last time things went bad I had to buy a ticket to Alaska and bring you home because you were having panic attacks during your internship. Stiles, it was not ok and I cannot watch you go through that again.”

“Nothing is going to happen. I don’t need you to pick up the pieces, I can take care of myself.”

“Then why are you calling me in the middle of a work day to tell me you just had lunch with your ex-boyfriend and that Erica is judging you?”

“Shut up.”

*

Derek was with Stiles again, a week of them meeting up for lunch or early breakfast. They had developed this weird pseudo friendship along the way. Derek hadn’t been able to handle it at first, always trying to reach across the table and hold Stiles’ hand or lean over and kiss him goodbye. But, eventually the pain of not being able to was numbed by the relief of just being with him.

Today they were going to pick up his daughter from Kindergarten, she had started a year early because where her birthday landed. Derek didn’t think it was a good idea, but Stiles had said that he wanted Claudia to meet him and Derek could never say no to Stiles. They were standing by the Jeep when the swarm of kids came running out to meet their parents. He knew immediately which one was Claudia. She had the same Bambi eyes as Stiles, the same darker hair and the same aura around her. It was hard to place it, but she was definitely Stiles’ daughter without a doubt.

“Hi Daddy!” she shouted as she ran up to him.

“Hi sweetheart! How was school?”

“It was really fun! Isaac and I were partnered for arts and crafts.”

“Oh yeah?” And Stiles talked to her for a few more minutes, laughing at her jokes. Derek’s heart pulled at the sight of him with his child. He couldn’t help but thinking about how this could have been something he could have had with him. Stiles was smiling at Derek and Claudia was looking confused before she nodded at whatever he whispered in her ear. She came up to him and he bent down to meet her at eye level.

Her hand was extended as she spoke in a cheerful voice. “Hi. I’m Claudia Laura Stilinski, I’m four, but I’ll be five in a month.” Derek startled at her name and he looked up at Stiles, he was smiling at Claudia. He felt a little hand touch his face, which was apparently a little damp. “Why are you crying? Are you sad? Did I say something wrong? I just said my name. Don’t be sad.”

Derek let out a small laugh, even if she hadn’t looked like her father her nonstop chatter and questions were definitely the telltale sign. “I’m not sad, sweetie. It’s just, I used to know someone that has your name.”

“You knew my grandma?” Her eyes were wide.

“No. Unfortunately I didn’t get to know her. But my sister, Laura. I knew her.”

“Oh,” she seemed a little disappointed at the fact that he never got to meet Claudia.

Stiles ruffled her hair slightly, “Come on kiddo. Derek and I are gonna take you to get some ice cream. How does that sound?”

“Ice cream!” she looked at Stiles like he had just said he was going to give her the key to all happiness.

______________

Derek wasn’t sure what he was thinking inviting Stiles to his loft. Sure, they had become friends but there was still that weird tension between them. Derek never talked to Stiles about what happened at the bar that first night, but he had definitely kept it in his mind for whenever he had alone time. There was a knock on his door and Derek took a breath. He could do this, he had already been doing it for a while. It was going to be a breeze.

“Hi,” he said as he opened the door.

“Well hello to you too, sir,” Stiles said as he entered the loft. He let out a whistle as he looked around. “Sweet digs.”

“Sweet digs? Seriously?” Derek lifted an eyebrow.

“Don’t eyebrow me. I can talk hows I wants to if I’s like.”

“Ok, I’m gonna stop you right there and just say no. To all of that.”

Stiles smiled, “Glad you haven’t lost all of your charm.”

Derek rolled his eyes as he led him towards the kitchen.

Stiles sniffed the air, letting out a noise in the back of his throat, “It smells delicious in here. What are we having? Also, I totally didn’t bring you flowers, was I supposed to?”

“Why would you bring me flowers? And I’m making eggplant parmesan.”

“Because it’s a date.”

“It’s a what?” Derek tried hard not to blush.

“A. Date. You know, two dudes eating at one dudes house and maybe some sexy times ensue.”

“Stiles, I –“

“Oh,” his face was suddenly one of shock, his eyes looking more deer like by the second. “Was it not? Do you not want it to be?”

“No. Of course I do. But, what about Malia?”

Stiles let out a sigh, “I told you I wasn’t that happy with her. Derek,” Stiles took a step closer and he was suddenly just there, “I love you.” Before Derek could say it back, Stiles kissed him. It was full of need and lust. It was sweet and hard, Derek reacted naturally and pulled Stiles into him. He opened his mouth, giving Stiles access. He knew he shouldn’t have kissed him back, he knew Stiles had a wife and a baby. He had met his daughter just a few days ago. Still, Stiles was here and he had a hard time saying no to Stiles.

Derek pushed Stiles against the counter, rutted his hips against him. Stiles let out a small moan into his mouth. Derek moved down and started to mouth at his neck. Stiles panted, “Don’t leave any marks.” Derek let out a noise of disappointment, he had always been keen on leaving marks on Stiles. He loved the way they looked against his pale skin. He kissed at the pulse point of his neck slowly making his way back up to nip at his jaw. Stiles rolled his hips, their hard lengths rubbing against one another. Derek gripped his hips, kissed him harder. Before he could lift his shirt off, the timer on his oven went off. Derek moan, disgruntled. Of course his oven would be a cock block. He moved away from Stiles and immediately became clear headed. He shouldn’t be doing this.

He took the dish out of the oven and set it on the counter. “Good, we can continue while it cools.” Stiles whispered into his ear and wrapped his arms around his waist, squeezing. Derek turned in his arms and looked at him. His face was flushed and his eyes were blown. Derek couldn’t take it. He needed this. He needed Stiles.

He grabbed Stiles by the face and kissed him hard. Soon it was all teeth and filthy. Stiles’ hands were at the hem of his shirt, tugging. Derek parted their lips just to take off his shirt and rid Stiles of his own. Their mouths were back together and Derek’s hands were on Stiles’ ass. Stiles’ mouth was soon on his jaw, then his neck and Derek felt a bite. He knew Stiles had no qualms about leaving marks on Derek. And Derek tried not to listen to the voice of reason in the back of his head that told him exactly why that was.

They ended up in the bedroom somehow. The spiral staircase was a bit of a challenge since their mouths never parted. Derek fell onto his back as Stiles rested between the v of his legs. Their hips rutting against one another as Stiles moved down to suck on one of Derek’s nipples. He let out a small noise as his hands carded through Stiles’ hair. Stiles moaned in response and used one of his hands to play with the other nipple. Derek was falling apart and they hadn’t even taken off their pants. He had wanted this for so long, he needed to have Stiles again. And now.

Derek reached for Stiles’ belt and tossed it across the room before pulling off both the younger man’s jeans and briefs at once. Stiles lay on top of him naked, his hard length pushing against Derek’s denim. Stiles kissed his chest and then his stomach, licked at his navel and finally bit at his hip bones. Derek shuddered as Stiles breathed against his waistband, his hips bucking jut slightly before Stiles held him down. His pants were gone and suddenly they were both naked, Stiles’ mouth back on his and their dicks rubbing against one another. Derek was already so close to coming that he wasn’t sure if he would make it much longer, a small puddle of pre come on his stomach from both of them. Stiles swiped at it with his finger before pulling Derek’s hip up and on top of a pillow.

He leaned forward and whispered into Derek’s ear, “I still remember what you feel like.”

Derek let out a whine, practically begging for it since he was at a loss for words. Stiles was at his mouth again, his kisses becoming more and more filthy. “Do you want this?”

Derek let out a shaky a breath, “Yes.”

“Tell me you want this Derek. Tell me what you want.”

“I want you, Stiles. I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me. Fuck me until I don’t know my own name.”

Stiles let out a small laugh, setting a kiss on his temple, “Condom?”

Derek hesitated. He hadn’t really been planning on this. He didn’t think he had any, “No,” was all he responded.

Stiles’ smile went wicked as he spit into his hand, rubbing up his own length. Derek watched him, reached out as Stiles moved a finger towards his entrance. He let out a stuttering breath as Stiles put one finger in him. Stiles bit at his thigh as he crooked his finger, gliding past the sweet spot and making Derek moan out uncontrollably. He swore and then put in another finger, not even bothering to wet it. Derek tensed a little bit and Stiles began to soothe him, making shushing noises at his protests. Stiles played with his fingers, scissoring them back and forth, and gliding over that spot more than once. Derek was on the edge. He wasn’t sure if he could last much longer.

Derek was fisting at the sheets, his orgasm threatening an end before it even began. Stiles kissed at his thigh and pulled his fingers out. Derek made a sound of protest at the loss. Stiles smiled up at him as he licked his three fingers and then Derek’s entrance. Derek bucked his hips out of reaction and Stiles held him down with his free hand. He muttered Stiles’ name. When Stiles pushed back in, it was with all three fingers and Derek let out a groan of both pain and pleasure. Stiles sucked at his cock, teasing the tip with a slight scrape of teeth and push of his tongue.

“Are you ready?” Stiles’ voice was rough now.

“Yes. God, yes,” Derek moaned out, his inhibitions melted away long ago. Stiles lifted his hips a little bit, putting Derek’s ankles on his shoulders. He bent over so that he was mouthing at Derek’s chest and collarbone.

He pushed in all the way without warning and then waited as Derek adjusted to him. It didn’t take long, it never had before. Derek’s body was made for Stiles. The way their bodies just seemed to mold into one another without much protest, a testament to their love. Derek thought about Stiles’ life since he left. He thought about waiting at an airport all those years ago, looking up at a flight headed to Alaska and another to New York, and then running to the ticket booth to change his own. He was so intent on finding Stiles, letting him know how much he cared. He wasn’t late, he didn’t need to do this. He made it to the counter and changed his flight. One more look at the terminal to Alaska and then he walked away. He boarded his plane to New York and tried desperately to never look back.

Stiles said he had wanted him to chase him, show him he cared. Derek thought, all those years ago, that he was showing Stiles he cared by respecting his space, letting him find his way back. Instead, he had only pushed him away. He had him back now, even if it was in a morally ambiguous way. He didn’t care. He had him again. Stiles grunted as he came, Derek’s name almost inaudible on his lips as he kissed him. His own orgasm brought him out of his thoughts. The last thing he could remember was that he loved Stiles and he was never letting him go again.

______________

It was a few weeks later when Derek woke up and he was alone in his bed. His heart felt a pang of fear until he heard some rustling in his kitchen. It was around one in the morning. He got out of bed, not caring about putting clothes on. He needed to see Stiles, know that he had stayed and didn’t just leave. There in his kitchen stood the man he was beginning to relearn. His face was a mix of bliss and something else, regret? He had his phone in his hand and was staring at it.

“Hi,” Derek whispered.

Startled, Stiles looked up. He smiled when he saw him, “Hi.”

“What’s wrong?” Derek was making his way over to him.

“It’s Malia. She called to see where I was. I had told her the time got away from me and that I might end up crashing on Scott’s couch so I’m not driving drunk,” he looked only slightly upset about the fact he was lying to her. Derek found it was getting harder to deal with the fact that they were lying to Malia and probably everyone else around them.

“And how does Scott feel about being your accomplice?”

“He’s not happy about it at all. He doesn’t know that we,” Stiles made a motion with his hands towards the bedroom,” you know. He just knows that I was here and that I may or may not be reliving my teenage love affair with you in my head.”

There was a silence, and Derek couldn’t think of anything else to say for a while. “I don’t want to be your dirty little secret, Stiles.”

Stiles looked at him, his face unreadable. “I can’t do this right now, Derek. I can’t. I want you so bad, I want it more than when I was 15 and we had started dating. But,” he took a shaky breath. “I’m married. I have a family. I can’t just leave them. How could I?”

Derek understood, for the most part. “I’m not trying to tell you that you have to choose, but I don’t know how much longer I can handle not having all of you. I have wanted this for so long. I’ve been in love with you since you fell into me that first day of school in Calculus.”

Stiles blushed a little bit, “I only tripped because I was staring at you. Yeah, I was, and still am, a huge klutz. But I figured you’d have to notice me if I just fell on you. So, I did.”

“Stiles,” Derek grabbed his face. “I love you so much that some would probably consider it unhealthy. I can’t be hidden. I just…can’t.”

Derek walked away. He wasn’t sure what he was asking for, but he knew he needed to ask for it. He couldn’t handle it anymore. Sure, he loved having sex with Stiles, kissing with him, cooking with him, showering with him, but he still wasn’t actually with him and that hurt the most. His heart was hurting in both good and bad, but his mind kept reminding him that what he and Stiles had wasn’t right.

He went back to his bed, and when he heard his door close with a slight slam he winced. He knew he went about it wrong, but Stiles needed to know. Derek did not get much sleep that night.

He woke up the next day sore in all the wrong places. He was about to get into his car when he saw it. There on the driver’s side window was half of an orange stuck to it.

*

“You put an orange on his car?!” Stiles turned to Scott after looking at his text more than once.

Scott looked sheepish, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The hell he didn’t.

“Then explain this,” Stiles said as he held his phone up so Scott could see it. It was a picture of Derek’s car, an orange just stuck to the window on his driver’s side and text below the picture that read **I think I’ve just been given a warning of some kind.**

“To be fair,” Scott looked up at him as he continued, “I opted for the horse head in his bed. Lydia said that was uncivilized and that she was against the killing of a horse for such a mundane cause.”

“Et tu Brutus?” Lydia gave Scott a death glare as she said it.

“You’re not the Godfather! And furthermore, what do you and _Lydia_ ,” he looked at her pointedly, “think you’re doing warning him? Why are you warning him anyway?”

“Look,” Lydia let out a breath. She grabbed Stiles’ hand, “it’s getting out of hand. There’s no way this isn’t an affair at this point Stiles. It’s been almost two months. Malia isn’t dumb. She asked me if everything was ok with you at work or if you had said anything to me because of the weirdness you’ve been exuding around her.”

“I’m not weird around her.”

“Dude! You dodged one of her kisses the other day and told her you had a cold sore!”

Stiles blushed a little bit at the memory, “I thought I felt one coming on.”

“Yeah, you felt one coming on all right.” Scott started pouting. Stiles hated when he pouted.

Before he could say anything else Lydia spoke, “Something is going to give. You need to think about the consequences of your actions right now Stiles.”

It was Stiles’ turn to let out a breath, “You sound like Derek.”

The two of them looked at each other and then back at Stiles. Lydia spoke first, “So, Derek gave you an ultimatum?”

“No. Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. He said that he wasn’t giving me an ultimatum, but that he wasn’t going to be able to be happy hidden forever.”

“What exactly are you hiding?” Lydia spoke after a brief silence.

Stiles took in a breath. “That Derek is basically my boyfriend and we have sex almost every time we see each other.” He took one look at them both, their faces a mix of horror and sympathy. Was that pity? “Look. You guys don’t understand. Derek is my first choice. Always. I have been in love with him since I was 12 and he hit me with a baseball by accident. I pined after him for so long and when I found him in my Calculus class sophomore year I made a move. He was the one. When he left, I was destroyed. It took me four years to pull myself back together enough to date again.” He turned and looked at Lydia, “Remember when I called you panicking because I had woken up and Malia was in my bed?”

She nodded, her eyes a little watery.

“That was the first time that I had ever been with someone else. I felt like I was betraying Derek, like he was the only one who had a claim to my body. But really, he’s the only one who has ever had a claim to my heart.” His eyes were leaking now and he didn’t bother to wipe away the steady stream of tears. Scott looked pained and Stiles knew how to get him to understand. “He’s my Allison, Scott. He is the reason I can breathe. I know it sounds crazy and unhealthy, but it’s true. After that first time with Malia, we didn’t sleep together again until our wedding.”

“But—“ Lydia began, but Stiles cut her off.

“Yeah, Malia got pregnant after that first time. I wasn’t just going to abandon her, especially because there wasn’t even a real reason other than maybe Derek was coming back. So, we got married and had Claudia, and I love her so very much. I would give anything for that little girl, but I still wouldn’t give Derek. And that makes me feel like a horrible human being. And the worst part, I don’t even feel bad about cheating on Malia, because for so long it’s felt like I was cheating on Derek.” Stiles had more to say, but it was lost in his cries and the hug his friends were giving him. He had never told anyone that, let them all think he was fine and moved on. He never really let himself believe that he was as broken as he really was. How could he? He had a family to try and make better.

*

To say that Derek’s day was weird was an understatement. He woke up to find an orange on his car (yes, the actual fruit stuck to his driver’s window.), and then when he got to work Erica was there with an entire lecture on how horrible of a person he was for not keeping her up to date on the Stiles situation (which Derek wasn’t even sure what exactly the Stiles situation was) and then immediately cancelled all of his plans and bought ice cream and held him hostage at her apartment only to tell him that she might be pregnant, but not to freak out because there was still a serious grey room. Now, he was sitting at home thinking about everything. He wasn’t sure what was happening to his life, when had it become so complicated. Right, when he sent that email.

He heard a knock on his door and it startled him. Unless it was Stiles, he wasn’t expecting anyone. The last person he expected when he opened his door was Malia. He had never actually met her, but she looked exactly like the pictures Stiles showed him, except in the pictures she was constantly laughing or smiling. This woman, for all that she looked like the Malia he saw in pictures, also looked like she was broken. The eyes that met him had almost no life, like the fight was given out for some reason.

“May I help you?”

“No. I just needed to know that this was real, that you were real. I needed to make sure that it wasn’t all in my head, that I wasn’t going crazy.”

Of course she knew who he was, why would he ever think that she wouldn’t? His day was officially weird.

“It’s funny, I always heard such wonderful things about you. He told me once that we would have been really great friends, funny how that worked out huh?” No one was laughing. “I’m—I’m sorry. I’m intruding.”

Derek felt his heart break at those words. She was not intruding, he was. He knew this was going to happen. She didn’t deserve this. What had she ever done to him, other than love Stiles when he couldn’t? Derek was a horrible human being.

She looked him in the eye, “Just tell me one thing before I go.” He nodded. “Why?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but fell short. He didn’t know why. He had simply wanted Stiles. He wanted everything about him. Everything he had lost all those years ago. He was selfish and foolish. She nodded once to signal she got the answer she was looking for and then walked away. Derek shut his door slowly, walking back to the table in his dining area. What was he going to do?

____________

Derek looked up at the board above him. It was so familiar, just like all those years ago. He boarded his plane and tried not to completely lose his mind. How else did he see this ending? A big romantic gesture? Stiles leaving his family for him? He didn’t know what he was going to do when he got back to New York, but he knew he was going to figure it out day by day. Eventually, he might be able to find some kind of passable excuse for a good life. His phone kept buzzing, Stiles’ name popping up on his screen until he finally just turned it off. The tables turned, he finally understood why he left ten years ago. He finally got why Stiles ran from it, because it was all too much. He closed his eyes and only opened them for his layover in Chicago.

*

Stiles looked down at his phone. He had tried calling Derek over fifteen times. Funny how the tables were turning now. He tried not to think about the way he cried over his own phone ringing on his way to Alaska, how he had turned it off and didn’t turn it on until he got there for fear of turning around and telling Derek he was sorry for ever thinking about leaving.

Stiles looked at the note from Malia on the counter, written in her perfect handwriting. _Figure out what it is you want. We’ll be back in a week. You have until then._

He knew she was pissed. He didn’t expect her to be happy about it, or that she would never find out. Of course she would find out, it was Beacon Hills after all. He sat there in his kitchen thinking about everything. The problem was he didn’t know what he wanted. He wanted Claudia. He wanted a normal life. He wanted Derek. He realized then that Malia wasn’t necessarily a part of that equation. Sure, he loved her over the years. He married her despite never fully getting over Derek. He never told her, or anyone else this, but the night that Malia and him got drunk and they slept together was the night Stiles was going to go to New York and bring Derek back.

He had bought a plane ticket and was all packed and ready to leave when she came over with some questions about their OChem class. He figured it was a sign and helped her, they started drinking and one thing led to another.

He tried not to think about how if it weren’t for Malia he would have gone to New York and reconciled everything with Derek even after almost 4 years of not talking. He tried not to resent her, not to hate her for ruining an earlier shot at pure happiness. He knew Malia didn’t get pregnant on purpose, hell she was even the one who asked if they should just get an abortion. But Stiles had told her no, that they were going to get married and he was going to love her and their baby. He cried a little harder at the memories. He thought about his whole life, comparing the Derek years to the Malia years. They were both wonderful in their own ways, but he knew one of them was more wonderful than the other. He let out a shaky breath and called Erica.

*

When Derek finally made it back to New York, he was exhausted. His body was sore from the plane ride, his mind was sore from crying and the way he avoided actively thinking about Stiles. He saw him everywhere. Which is why he simply walked past him when he entered his bedroom. It was just another apparition, a trick of the mind. He needed to shower and sleep. He needed a drink. When he left the bathroom after his shower and a few splashes of cold water to the face the apparition was still there. He chose to ignore it, it looked hurt.

“Do you really have nothing to say to me?” he heard it whisper as he walked up to the opposite side of the bed.

Startled, Derek looked at it again. Only, this time it wasn’t a trick of the mind, it was Stiles. Stiles was here in New York. He had no words.

“That’s the expression I was looking for,” he let out a small breath, his shoulders visibly relaxing. Stiles got up and walked towards him. Derek stiffened. “Why did you leave? Why come back at all if you were just going to leave? Why Derek?”

Derek had all of the answers and none of them at all. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, sorry isn’t going to cut it this time. I had to practically torture Erica in telling me where you were.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because I love you Derek! Because if you would have answered any of my calls or text me back you would have known that I chose you!”

Derek looked at him, wide eyed and a little too hopeful. “You…chose….me?”

“Yes, you big idiot. I chose you. I will always choose you. Sorry I’m late, but at least I made it.”

Derek felt himself sob a little as Stiles held him close and carded his fingers through his hair. The next thing he remembers is waking up to Stiles still holding him, his chest lifting in even breaths as he slept. Derek wasn’t really sure what he deserved to have this, to have everything back and he wasn’t going to question it. He had Stiles again and that’s really all that mattered. All of the collateral damage he could worry about later. He closed his eyes and prayed that if he opened them again Stiles would be there still. And he was, he was there every day after.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you to my wonderful beta Melissa, without whom I would still be staring at a blank page crying about where to take the next scene.
> 
> I almost didn't make them get together, but I couldn't do that to myself.
> 
> Please let me know if you did or didn't like it. I love getting all types of feedback for future fics and/or how to fix this one!!
> 
> xoxo


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